I am sitting in the chair trying to find the way to get to my work. I feel a bit lazy and discourage to work now since my brother call me this evening. It is quite a challenge for a lazy man like me again. I've gotta find the way out. Why i don't go to my work? Because I feel bored with my life. Why I feel bore with my life? I think I already jog for this evening and see the sunset. Or because i Keep doing the same thing? or because the work that I will do is not interesting? Why suddenly i feel bore with my life? It is quite hard to express sometimes. I know that this is the challenge and lose it or win it is not a problem. As long as i try my best to fight with it, I will be happy.

Am I sad? Am I addicting to something? My eyes sore a little bit now. I don' know why. Maybe i haven't relaxed my eyes since I get up this morning. I want to know how to relax my eyes. No, that's now how I fight. Ok, now let's try turn of the light and turn on the orange light. See how i would feel and clean my table as well.

Ok, I clean my table, i drank water, and filled up the water. Now I come and sit back again. On the way, I kept thinking is living like this is better than living without any plan or anything? I was asking myself this question. When I live without any plan, I can feel that I can sleep every well, I can't sleep well only on some days when there is something come up to me such as my project date line. And I didn't achieve anything in my life living like this. Life seems happy and carefree but inside sometimes it's very hurtful. Most of the time, i thought of suicide because don't know what to live for. On the another side, I had plan, i had principle, I kept fighting with laziness, Win or lose, i don't care, i just keep fighting, Keep myself occupied with something that let me go to the right track. However, at some point, i am tired and bored of fighting, but i think i have to keep fighting. Because at least it is the choice that i make. I don't want to be a farmer or construction worker, i want to have my life. I don't expect much from my life. As long as I graduate, i have a job, i have a house, a car, a family. I am happy with my life.

I am still lazy. Looking back when i was young, it is exactly who i was. I never change at all. Normally at this time, in the evening, when i was young, I am supposed to get to my place to sit and review and study for what i have been studied. Now it's the same, but it is just that this time, i have to force myself to do it. When i was young, i was forced by my brother. Looking at life, I really want to laugh. This is life. You are born in this world, and had fun, you are sad, you love, you hate. It's really meaningful. Sometimes, you cry, sometime you laugh. It's a mix of emotion.

So what now? You have been listening to Donald Trump, Robert, and others. But you are still lazy. I think you have been done a lot of thing. Hmm... Calm down! How about I just go to study? Just start it for 15mns. If you don't just go directly to solution. you won't deal with the problem. To deal with the problem is to go directly to the root of the problem. I garantee, you just devote yourself 5mns to it first, then you can go. I make a deal with you, if this 5 mns, you don't feel like doing it, you can stop and watch movie.